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Writer's pictureGeoff Burke

Things Plumbers Don't Want You To Know... April Fools Edition!


A spaghetti ladle with spaghetti noodles

Hey everyone – welcome to this week’s episode of “How NOT to Call the Plumber!”. This week, we're letting you in on some plumbing tips that many plumbers don’t want you to know, so I would suggest taking 2 minutes to read! You’re getting the insider information 😉. Let’s get right to it!


First, I bet you didn’t know that you can use dry spaghetti noodles to temporarily fix a leaking sink drain? Plumbers will often use this trick if they find a leak on the job but don’t have time to take care of it that day (I bet you didn’t know that plumbers carried spaghetti in their trucks, did you?). It is quite simple – all you need to do is take about a small amount of dried spaghetti noodles, typically enough to feed one average sized adult (or 0.5 average sized Nono’s for the Italians), and without breaking them, try to feed them into the drain. What happens is that as the noodles soak up the water in the drain, they expand, which will temporarily seal the pipe from the leak. And there you go – you’ve stopped the leak long enough for your Home Depot trip or while you wait for the plumber to come!


The second tip today is a bit of an interesting one (and also has to do with food!). If you are ever in a pinch where a drain has corroded and developed a hole or crack, there is another quick and easy temporary fix – you just need to find an old gumball machine at the mall! One 25 cent gumball can be used to temporarily fill in that hole until the plumber arrives. Now here’s the thing - it has to be the old, stale kind that turns hard as a rock and hurts your jaw after about 1 minute. Not just any gum will work! Chew it up until you get that jaw pain we all remember, then stick it onto the pipe. Depending on the size of the hole or crack, you may need more than one gumball.


Lastly, we wanted to let you know of a new product we’ve been working on that we’re about to release to the public. We’re calling it the “Infinity Drain”! This innovative drain system is designed to never clog, meaning you’ll never have to deal with the unpleasant task of unclogging a drain again. How does it work, you ask? We’ve partnered with a team of scientists to develop a revolutionary technology that uses quantum entanglement to instantly transport any foreign objects in the drain to an alternate dimension. Say goodbye to hairballs, soap scum, and other clog-causing debris!


That’s it for this week’s episode of “How NOT to Call the Plumber!”. I hope you all have a wonderful spring weekend and we’ll see you next time!


PS – I know I shouldn’t have to say it, but THIS IS A JOKE! Please do not do any of the things you just read. We don’t want any angry phone calls from customers who have clogged their sinks with spaghetti 😊. April Fools!

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